Caring for a relationship is like caring for a garden– it involves lots of care and love to keep it growing.
A relationship tarot spread can be used as a part of your care regimen. It allows you to check in with yourself, your partner, honestly evaluate where you both are at in the relationship, and where you’re going next.
How to Perform A Relationship Tarot Spread
Shuffle the cards anyway that feels comfortable. Think about you and your partner. Have you had a fight lately? Or maybe things have been 100% perfect? Keep those situations in mind as you shuffle.
After you feel like you’ve shuffled enough, look for The Lovers card in your deck. This card represents you and your partner’s relationship. Once you find it, remove it and place a finger or piece of paper in the deck so you don’t lose your place, and put the card down wherever you’re reading. It will be the center card of the spread.
Go back to your deck and pull the card that was before The Lovers, and the card that came after. Place the one that came before on the left, and the card that came after on the right. All three cards should be in a line.
The final card for this spread is on the very bottom of your tarot deck. Place this underneath the other three cards.
Now, flip the cards over! We’ll read the cards in the first row from left to right, and then read the bottom card last.
The card to the left represents the recent past. Think back to your visualizations while shuffling– does this card match those feelings? Pulling a Major Arcana card here could symbolize that you’ve gone through a huge milestone. The Tower card could represent a very negative event, one that you still feel like you’re rebuilding. If it’s the beginning of the relationship, it might be The Fool showing you’ve stepped off the cliff and into the great unknown.
If this card feels like the wrong vibe, meditate on you and your partner. There’s a chance that they see past events in a different light than you. Use this opportunity to check in with them and start honest dialogue about the relationship.
The Lovers card sits in the middle. It’s representative of you and your partner. During this reading you may want to stop and meditate on this card and what it means to you. How does the first card affect your perception of this love? And does that change how you might tackle an issue that comes up with the next card? Taking the time to pause here and think of a game plan makes this spread a true tool for you to use.
The final card in this row represents the short term future. It’s how your relationship is shifting and changing. Even long term partnerships change– humans are never stagnant.
Pulling something like the Nine of Pentacles here might mean a struggle you’ve been having is coming to a close, especially if money or sickness has been driving a wedge between you and your partner. It is a sign of stability.
If you’ve found there hasn’t been enough romance, pulling any of the Cup cards can give you the confidence to change things in the upcoming year. Ace of Cups could be a great sign to step out of your comfort zone and go for it– plan a romantic dinner or propose saving for a big trip. It wants you to take a chance for love, and know it’ll be worth it.
The final card is the one you pulled from the bottom of the deck. It’s all about what may be unsaid or hidden in your relationship. If there are skeletons in either partner’s closet, this card might drag them into the light. If you’ve been keeping a secret or holding off on asking a question, this card will show the consequences.
Knight of Swords would be an interesting card to have here. It’s a card that can be representative of a person, and Swords asks you to be logical and to right any wrongs. If that kind of message makes you uncomfortable, think about why. It could be telling you that a little pain now stops a larger pain from happening later.
What’s hidden may not be a bad thing! If you’ve been hoping for a proposal, this could be your sign to start planning that wedding. This is another place where a Major Arcana card can give you insight on a huge change. The Sun especially is a happy sign that represents harmony and light in the days to come.
How Do You Ask a Love Question in Tarot?
This relationship spread can be used if you want to ask a specific love question. Meditate on your question while shuffling. Allow your mind to wander while you do this. Don’t worry if you start to get nervous when you think about the question! This reading is a tool.
If the cards you pull make you uncomfortable, you may want to journal their meanings. Check back on what you wrote a few days later. You might realize that the cards are telling you something you already knew, but were scared to realize.
If the card meanings feel wrong, keep practicing with the spread! The more you work with the cards, the more you start understanding their meanings.
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Family Relationships Tarot Spread
This spread can easily be updated to focus on family relationships. After shuffling, pull the Temperance card instead of the Lovers. Temperance represents peace and serenity, things that make up an ideal relationship with a family member. Everything else can stay the same!
Remember this is a way for you to check in on a relationship. If you and a sibling have been having issues, it’s a great way to center yourself. Use this as a way to guide a difficult discussion if you’re not sure how to start. It can even be used to help you write out an apology, or to prepare for a family visit.